I am seeing all the National Coming Out Day posts so here I am chiming in. I never “came out”. I never felt the need to, because I am just me and I am not defined by anything. Not my sexuality, gender or anything else. I am naturally resistant to labels. I don’t owe anyone any explanations… in the words of Warsan Shire “I belong deeply to myself”. I knew from a very young age that I was transparent in every sense of the word, I also knew that I didn’t fit into any sexual minority group. I do however understand that for some people coming out is everything- identifying sexual orientations and gender identity. I wish to those a #HappyNationalCominOutDay. Most of my love today goes to those who have yet to “come out” for fear of being ostracized, rejected, shamed and abandoned. I ❤ you and I pray that the higher power of love shows you that any discrimination you face is not in the name of it.
When I was in beginning to see somewhat who happened to be of the same sex I gave some people I care about and that care about me a short heads up. I wanted them to hear about it from me. I was surprisingly overwhelmed, appreciative and impressed by the instant loving and accepting responses I received. I want to share this with people who are at the receiving end of someone coming out to them, because when I got these messages my main thought was “if only people who actually came out were received with such unconditional love and acceptance.” As I read the messages I couldn’t help but wish anyone who ever actually came out would be received in such a way:
“Oh, Lynn, People are people… It’s not what’s in their pants or the color of their skin that matters. It’s what’s in their hearts & minds & souls that really matters. Sexuality is fluid. I believe everyone is on a spectrum & people who are 100% gay or straight are pretty rare.
This doesn’t change anything about the way I feel about you – except that my heart swells with pride for your openness & bravery. It is not an easy thing to stand up and announce who you are in the face of bigotry with the possibility of pain & loss. You are a truly precious soul, a truly precious gift. And I am ever grateful that you are in my life.
May you find peace & comfort and be met with love & appreciation!”
“Honey; you are not only a beautiful person but a beautiful writer. I will always love you no matter what. You are brave to tell us and I am so proud of you. Like Leslie said, love is love, and you deserve the best. xoxo”
“No worries about me! I would only ever view you as one of the most loving and caring people I know. Love is love.”
“I am happy for you to be putting your heart out there for another to see and love….ya know, humans have an endless capacity to love. Endless. That’s the truth. I am happy for everyone who finds it, shows it, gives it, believes in it and LIVES it!”
I also want to share a facebook message I posted for PRIDE a few weeks:
It’s not about sexuality so much as it is celebrating your life and right to be free. In all ways. I often say “live your truth”, but not “be who you are”, because I don’t believe sexuality makes you who you are. I believe we were all created uniquely individually and our sexuality is only a very small piece of that. Yes, I believe who you love as an individual, not a gender can speak to who you are by what you desire from another to an extent, but be it a man or a woman has nothing to do with that. Sexual fluidity is natural and people should be able to feel comfortable with it. It’s not intended to be an argument, debate or to be fought for or against. It is not right or wrong, it cannot be agreed or disagreed upon, and it certainly isn’t supposed to separate us as a people or be the cause for hate. That’s nonsense and plain crazy. To say someone acting upon their feelings is unnatural is, well, clearly incorrect. Your spirit remains untouched. You don’t need permission, you owe no explanations, you should hold no shame and know no fear. I respect everyone who proudly embraces their identities and I understand why that is. My heart sees what makes a person, for me what makes a person is their soul, spirit, heart and energy. I am proud of who you are and how you stand for it, but I want you to know I do not define you. You are not complicated or difficult to understand. I accept how you identify with no hesitation. And it’s because I believe you. And I wish for us all to embrace each other this way. For everyone to live, love and celebrate the fact that we are here to do it. What is more fantastic than that? Happy Pride. 💛💙💜💚❤️
I know this world will make you feel like you have to answer to it. Don’t believe it, bc it doesn’t matter. Live and love. Just do you. XO