Naked Thoughts

Real eyes recognize real lies. I hadn’t had a clue of what that meant when I first read it. I completely understand now. The more thinking I do the better I become. It’s both mystifying and gratifying to know how much and how long I’ve been fed/shown lies. I’m still here. I’m not dying anymore, I know there’s room out there for flying. What that looks like for me, I don’t exactly yet know. I know that physically I cannot fly, but I feel like I’m standing fearless at the edge of something and this new found freedom within wants to make itself a reality and tell me to let go. I’m still hurt, but I’m becoming my own friend. Meeting myself where I am now. I am now a freedom fighter. And none of it make sense, but I’m just making sense of it myself. I know that inner peace and freedom and openness to experience all things will be the only way my heart, soul and mind can truly survive on this earth. Without it I will simply be existing and not living, like I was. I’d be just dreaming and fantasizing, like I was. Now I can make something of it. In time, I will see the product… but here and now I am the damaged child, scarred and untrusting because of all things unfair. Not one bit of it my fault. I wasn’t a disaster, I was the product of what I could not control… but now I have the control. That’s my chance in this. I am the hurt, person, broken in many places who has the chance to be free. The knowledge that nothing will ever erase what’s happened to me, how I came into this world, and all the extra… but that I really can thrive. That I don’t have to be miserable along the way. I can find peace and find my place. By being here now. And being there then. And living deep within myself all the same.

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